Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Just Friends

Platonic relationships, by definition, are intimate and affectionate but not sexual.  When two people become intimate and affectionate, sex is often the next biologically logical step.  Sometimes though, there are reasons that would make taking a relationship from platonic to sexual the most utterly and completely illogical oh-my-gosh-we-cannot-do-this step imaginable.  Whenever I see a man and woman in an intimate friendship, I always wonder if they have managed to fall off of that last step yet.

When two people of the opposite sex spend a lot of time together and enjoy one another’s company, they usually end up sharing some secrets.  Secrets bring closeness, and closeness often leads to intimacy and affection.  Whether or not two people are initially attracted to one another on a sexual level, there usually comes a time when one or both of them has a hmm-moment.  Hmm, it feels kind of good when he hugs me.  Hmm, she looks pretty hot today.  Hmm, I wonder if he has ever thought about it, even for a second.  Hmm, if we get a little drunk, where will this go next?  And then, unless one of them is able to hide this new little secret about their feelings for their ever-so-intimate-but-platonic friend, something changes.  After all, there is a natural progression from intimate and affectionate to sexual.   

Boundaries such as one or both friends’ marriages, potential co-worker drama, or personal hang-ups can sometimes keep the barriers up high enough to stave off a potential sexual relationship. 

Yet, even when the periphery has been clearly marked and the reasons why platonic should remain platonic have created a formidable barrier, all it takes is one person admitting the urge to take it further or somehow giving away the secret, and the walls can come crumbling down. 

Once the hmm-thoughts are out there, being just friends is no longer an option. 

1 comment:

Kimmie said...

This idea is something I have been considering recently. Odd that you chose this subject to talk about.

So true...once you ever even let those thoughts cross your mind...things change...whether you act on them or not.