Bad Words

Today, when I was at the grocery store with my daughter I heard something that broke my heart.  A little girl of about eight years old was riding in her mother’s cart and when they walked past I heard her say, “I’m a pain in the ass” in a very monotone voice.  At once, I felt saddened, because the little girl stated this as if she’d said it a million times and it was simply a matter of fact because someone told her so.  I looked up at her mother.  To most people, she would have just looked angry and sick of her child.  To me, she looked like she just could not take it anymore.

The little girl looked completely “normal” but right away I recognized that she must have autism or something similar.  Now, most people would assume that her mother must be a horrible excuse for a parent and a terrible caregiver and a million other dreadful accusations.  I saw someone who needs a break and some kindness. 

After all, I have been a mother for twelve years, and in twelve years I have said more than a few things that I did not mean.  I have sworn in front of my children, even though I said I never would.  I have yelled angrily in their presence.  I have lost my temper.  Luckily for me, they just never repeat any of it catatonically in public. 

So, who am I to judge another parent who has had one of those days when the world is just not working right, or when she just cannot get through to her child?  I have no idea what her life is like. 

And while I felt sorry for her child for hearing those words, I also felt sorry that her mother was feeling bad enough to say them. 

Bad words hurt, but they hurt some of us more than others.