Why does no one else see how ridiculous and stupid it would be for him to play when he is so obviously hurt?
Men are trained from boyhood to just suck it up and keep going, no matter how badly they are hurt. It starts so young. If a six-year-old boy falls and skins his knee, his dad will pick him up, say “its ok”, and expect him to get over it. And if that boy gets his heart broken, he hears the same thing. It doesn’t matter whether he hurts because the cute girl called him names, because his parents just got divorced, or because his favorite uncle died suddenly. He should just play through it.
These boys turn into men who think that they should never let the pain come through. They should never show any sign of weakness. They should never be human beings. They are not allowed to feel completely, so they do not. These men just strangle the pain until it cannot be heard by anyone. They perform.
What no one bothered to tell them is that there is nothing wrong with hurting, nothing wrong with crying, and nothing wrong with letting someone know how badly it hurts. So many relationships could be saved if the men were allowed to admit defeat and ask for help. So many men would be happier.
Instead, they cover up the pain and feel inferior that it even exists at all. They perform.
The only thing that they do allow themselves to feel is that they should just play through the pain.
4 comments:
Insightful. You're definetely on to something these days... it's my personal belief that (at least a few) men know better already, though... but they rather play this card, just because it's less work. But that's just me. ;-)
Well said!
Men have been trained to feel this way since the begining of time, to be any other way is not normal. It has become part of human nature.
I have 3 teenage sons. I've tried my hardest to instill in them that it is ok to hurt, but their father's influence on the "suck it up and deal with it" opinion has been greater. Hopefully, it will trickle down the generations and get diluted.
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