Real Sex

No one got real until the sex show started.  Before that, we were all pretending.  We were all pretending to be perfectly upstanding women.  We were perfect-little-mommies.  And every single one of us was pretending to be the perfect-little-wife.  Then, the other kind of toys came out, and we all got real.

For a year, we had gotten together for play dates…for our children.  We gathered together every week at someone’s perfectly clean home with our perfectly good intentions and our perfectly matriarchal dialogues.  It was sweet, absolutely lovely for our children, and exactly what was expected of us.

We were all faking it.  I hate when women fake it. 

Then one night, a very well-behaved but secretly improper member of our group threw a sex toy party.  Admittedly, I had to drink some wine before I got there, but I was definitely intrigued.  Lucky for me, one of the other mommies got a little more real to me the second she offered me a plastic cup with boxed wine and ice cubes inside.  At least with her I had a sudden and unexpected partner in crime.  If it had not been for that glimpse of realness, I am not sure I would have even made it to the party.  I had no idea how it was going to play out, and I really, truly expected it to be as awkward as hell. 

We arrived fashionably late, but only because I have a seeming inability to get anywhere on time.  Enter a room of presumably uptight women listening to a very brave mom with a bag full of tricks.  The wine flowed like beer, and the nervous giggles soon became full-blown laughter.  I must say, the “try before you buy” option loosened everyone up even more. 

The talk ranged from first times to whether or not size really does matter.  And then…the climax happened. 

Without notice, a group of prim and proper acquaintances became real friends for the first time.  After all, it is pretty difficult to talk about ben wa balls with a stranger. 

Gone were the perfect mommy facades.  We could finally be ourselves.  We finally stopped faking it. 

We eventually put away the sex toys, but from that point on, we were real.